Distance is a test to see how far love can travel

“Now the minutes feel like hours,
And the hours feel like days…
You’re so far,
This long distance is killing me,
I wish that you were here with me…
But we’re stuck where we are,
It’s so hard, You’re so far…”

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I still remember how I waited out those long sleepless nights for months all for one kiss,
how many times I replayed saved voicemails over and over again just to hear your voice again,
stalked my mailbox in hopes of getting a love letter from you…

Even though you may be thousand miles away,
you are the first and last I thought every day and every night. 

Sometimes, my eyes turned red from the sleepless nights,
cos I kept imagining the scene when I see you again,
I can’t wait to be in your arms, yet I’m anxious…
I doubt whether we would stay the same after separating for such a long time. 

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Many people say true love couldn’t be separated by distance.
Unless you had experienced long distance relationship, 
you could hardly imagine the pain of emptiness and desperation of physical love.
How you wished to be in his arms, and feeling safe from the harm…
How you wished you could crawl through the freaking computer screen and kiss him…

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Time difference is inevitable in a long distance relationship.
You start to looking at the clock and automatically calculating what time it is where he is.
Planning a Skype date always end in “your time or my time?”
Sometimes, you would stay up all night just to talk to each other,
and wishing you have the power to freeze the time so that you could spend more time with each other.
Whenever you go, you wish he was there to share your happiness and sadness.
But in reality, you could just tell yourself, “wait a little longer… it worths the wait.”
So you keep the faith, and wait…

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Long distance relationship is sweet, yet bitter.
Joy of long distance love is sweet while both of you are trying not to give up.
Some love will grow stronger than the distance is in between,
some love starts to fade away as time passes, especially when you guys are apart.

We lived at different time zone,
busying on reaching our own goals and meeting different people at different places.
Our love was like two parallel lines, waiting to cross again.
I don’t remember when exactly we start to fall apart, 
but I remember those nights at 4am, you were sleeping, I’m crying…
my world fell apart all of a sudden, your face, your voice, your smell starts to fade away…
Tear after tear, mile after mile,
I wished you were there to wipe away my tears. 

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So I started to kept yourself busy with things to do, hoping to get him off my mind.
But every time I paused, I still thought of you. 
I thought our heart were still connected even we were miles and miles apart,
Until one or both sides of you stopped trying and gave up…
Too tired, too stressed, too much tears…
Disconnected. 
It hurts, so badly.

and we never saw each other again. 

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Out of sight, hard to get out of my mind. I missed you, our memories, us…

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Connections

If I disappear, will you look for me?

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Have you ever met somebody in your life whom you thought you would stay close with forever, but all of a sudden, they just disappear from your life? We used to stay very close. We shared secrets, laughters, and you even wiped my tears and you witnessed my ups and downs.

What made us fall apart? Time? Misunderstanding? People? I am not sure about it either… I just remember our relationship faded away slowly and we weren’t even noticing. I don’t feel mad at you. I am just disappointed with our fragile connection. Somehow I think at the next life milestone, we meet a new bunch of people. There is always good lesson in meeting new people, it enlarges your social circle of friends. But please don’t forget those who have been there for you at your downs, they are irreplaceable.

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I wish I could grow old with my close friends. We text everyday, hangout and talk sometimes. We become bridesmaids of each other and throwback to those beautiful moments we have had when we were young. One day, maybe we could even bring our grandchildren along and they would ask, “How long have you been friends?” And we’ll smile and say, “Almost forever.”

It’s hard to sustain a close relationship with a friend. You used to stick with each other everyday, and when time passes by, you both meet new people in different social groups, discuss in different topics and live different lives.

I always believe life is completed when one have found the following 3 elements:
1. Complete family (your parents and siblings)
2. Soulmate (wife/husband)
3. A few best friends
Family is a lifetime, lovers are eternity and best friends are forever. Life cannot be happier when you achieve all of 3 elements, right?

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When we grow up, it is normal to overcome several disappointments and heartbreaks from friendships and relationships. As always, hard time always reveal true friends. How do you identify? Easy. True friends always find a way to help you, fake friends always find excuses.
“Some people are like dark clouds, when they disappear, it’s a brighter day. Know when it’s time to let go. Removing negative people from your life doesn’t mean you hate them, it just mean you love yourself more.”

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True friendship needs both parties to pay effort and motivation to maintain. If either of parties fail to work on it, it falls apart easily like what I have said at the beginning. May you not afraid to let out your feelings to them and tell them how much they mean to you. All those bits and pieces of crazily insane, thrilling, heartbreaking memories that you overcame together are worthy when you both look back one day. Start from now, capture down all the moments you spend with your beloved ones, live with no regrets. May true friends stay together and never say goodbye…

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Reminiscence

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「有些人 在心底從來沒忘記」
There are someone who you could never forget.

Time passes, people change but memories don’t. Good and bad memories bring tears, and words can’t replace feelings. Goodbyes will always hurt but pictures can never replace being there.

He once said to me, “if it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.”
I didn’t understand the meaning behind it at that moment. But when time passes, I start to become crystal clear about this simple but true saying. The person who told me this has left, however, if life grants me to choose once again, I’d do it all over again, no regrets.

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Reminiscence is always emotional. You think of moments that had happened with people you couldn’t forget. You think of them because they no longer exist in your life anymore. Sometimes you miss them too much and you thought that dreams were reality. In fact, you dream because there is no other way you could see it happen again.

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Sometimes, reminiscence makes me sad because of broken promises.

“Some people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them,” I said.
“Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That’s what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway.”

Indeed, if promises are made to break, please don’t make them. Some people are hard to trust people because they have lost courage to trust again after disappointments.

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Promises can be beautiful. At least, I still believe it exists in true love. A person who truly loves you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation.
「若愛,請深愛;
若棄,請徹底。
不要曖昧,傷人傷己。」
“If you love,love deeply.
If you abandon, please do thoroughly.
Don’t be ambiguous, it’s harmful to both.”

With love,
Ange Gardien xx