See the parts of them no one else gets to see

“I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and saw them crying in their bed late at night or singing to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street. And even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think, after seeing them at their most vulnerable, you wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with them.”

-XOXO Gossip Girl

Reality & Expectations

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The moment when you realize that all the uncertainties ahead seem out of your control.. And deep down, you are expecting something to happen… hoping they could be achieved one by one. But sometimes, despite my best efforts, they let me down. The fear of feeling let down defeated my goal of being deeply happy. No matter how hard I tried to bottle them up and suppress them, they just turned into frustration. In the meantime, I tried to seek for comfort, and it makes you feel even emptier. What could I do? Be stronger… that’s all I could think of. Goodnight world…

 

Reminiscence

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「有些人 在心底從來沒忘記」
There are someone who you could never forget.

Time passes, people change but memories don’t. Good and bad memories bring tears, and words can’t replace feelings. Goodbyes will always hurt but pictures can never replace being there.

He once said to me, “if it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.”
I didn’t understand the meaning behind it at that moment. But when time passes, I start to become crystal clear about this simple but true saying. The person who told me this has left, however, if life grants me to choose once again, I’d do it all over again, no regrets.

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Reminiscence is always emotional. You think of moments that had happened with people you couldn’t forget. You think of them because they no longer exist in your life anymore. Sometimes you miss them too much and you thought that dreams were reality. In fact, you dream because there is no other way you could see it happen again.

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Sometimes, reminiscence makes me sad because of broken promises.

“Some people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them,” I said.
“Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That’s what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway.”

Indeed, if promises are made to break, please don’t make them. Some people are hard to trust people because they have lost courage to trust again after disappointments.

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Promises can be beautiful. At least, I still believe it exists in true love. A person who truly loves you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation.
「若愛,請深愛;
若棄,請徹底。
不要曖昧,傷人傷己。」
“If you love,love deeply.
If you abandon, please do thoroughly.
Don’t be ambiguous, it’s harmful to both.”

With love,
Ange Gardien xx

Cherish the moment

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Life is unexpected. You never know what will happen in the next minute. And that’s the reason why we are making decisions every day. Yet, there are decisions that we’ll live to regret. Some regrets could be fixed if we endeavor to make a change. However, there are some regrets that could never ever go back.

I am inspired by a recent Youtube video uploaded by a Dad (the link is down below), whose son passed away when he served in the armed force. His son has a sweet girlfriend and they have been together for four years, and planning to get married in 2012. Unfortunately, the war took away their son, their friend, and her boyfriend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPT28MGhprY

It touches my heart while seeing how his Dad misses his son so much. He requested for help from public in order to get a “look back” video from Facebook, just for getting over death of a loved one to cope with death or grief.

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It reminds me of a personal reflection. Did I spend enough time for the loved ones who are worthy to me? Every time I think of death, I kinda freak out a little bit. It is not because I have never overcome death before, I did went to my uncle’s funeral. And that experience reminded me the sadness of losing somebody you have talked to. No matter how much you wanted to show your kindness and love to them, you are never granted a chance anymore.

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From now on, I just want myself to bare one thing in my mind every day – CHERISH the ones you love and those who love you. Because you never know when they won’t be there anymore.

“Life is short, live it.
Love is rare, grab it.
Fear is mind-killer, face it.
Memories are sweet, cherish them.”

Yes, there are some regrets that have already pasted in our life, and we can do nothing but to let go. Maybe you can try to think in this way. If you haven’t experienced regrets, you will never learn to cherish. Right?

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Sometimes, you didn’t choose to let somebody vanish in your life, they entered your lives and walked away because of some reasons that you can’t figure out. In the meantime, you start to realize that many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true ones will leave footprints in your heart. This is one of the most valuable lesson what life teaches us.

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So yeah, be thankful everyday of who’s around and paying attention on you, and giving their greatest love to you. Start with parents who made you the person you become today. They are pretty much the only two people in the world who can offer you unconditional love. Cherish and love your parents. Kiss them and hold their hands, like how they did when you were little. =)

With love,
Ange Gardien xx

Alone V.S. Lonely

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Tick Tok Tick Tok. A second, a minute, an hour, a day goes by…

Waiting implies patience. Everybody has experienced waiting, no matter how long it takes.  Waiting for the heated toast, waiting for a phone call, waiting for somebody, waiting for hope… Some people give up because they are fed up of waiting for a long period of time. While some people insist to wait till what they expected to come, and of course, the process of waiting is torturing and it requires a lot of patience and perseverance.

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Despite the above two kinds of people, some people choose to take alternatives that is under their expectations during waiting. In which, it is apparent to the case of love.  A girl has been wishing to meet her ideal one some day in her life. Unfortunately, she has been waiting for years after the previous relationship, and still hasn’t met the right one.  Inevitably, loneliness visits her easily. She tries hard to hide her loneliness, such as hanging out with friends, reading books, learning new stuffs…  She couldn’t help but admit that she is kind of lonely deep in her heart.

In the meantime, there are guys trying to approach her and treat her well. At the beginning, she pushes them out of the door because she doesn’t have any feelings on them. Gradually, impatience triggers her to waver. She tries to start a relationship with a guy that treats her nice, while she isn’t really into him. Why? Because she can’t stand the loneliness, she misses the feeling of being loved.

After a few months, she thought the boy’s love towards her could make her fall deeper in love. Sadly, she couldn’t keep forcing herself to love someone that has no feeling exist. Eventually, she left the guy with guilty.

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After all, some people in the world are lucky to find their Mrs./Mr. Right in the early stage. While the rest need to overcome failures of love experiences, including the patience of waiting, until they meet their right one at the right time.  Every time we love, we need courage to take another risk. There are two results of a relationship, either stick together forever or break-up. Some people are afraid of the latter result so they refuse to try. It is because these people most probably have experienced the hurt caused by break-ups, and their scars haven’t fully recovered. Time, is the only thing they need. How long? I have no idea as well, depends on how deep the scars are caused.

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For people out there who are experiencing loneliness, I understand that. You may try very hard to deny that you are lonely, but the fact is you are really feeling lonely. In this case, you got to learn how to cheer yourself up. Bare in mind, you are alone but you are may not be lonely. In our lives, in order to find our true love, we need patience. True love doesn’t come easy, true love is worth waiting for even if it takes a lifetime, but waiting for it will yield a great return, a lifetime of love.

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All good things need a little time. Before the right person and the right time comes, enjoy the time being alone. Try to become a better person in order to meet a better person. And when the time I meet that special person, I will tell him that how glad I’m to meet him, and I will never ever let him go.

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I want you to know that, I’m waiting for you.
I can’t wait to meet you, to see your eyes,
to see your smile and to know about your life.
Wherever you are right now,
what ever you’re doing,
I’m praying for you.
I promise you I will grab your hands to see the world,
wrap my arms around your shoulder, and hold you close to me at night.
I can’t wait to love you, adore you, cherish you and take care of you.
I can’t wait to meet you,
and show you this message in the future when we finally meet.
But for now, I want you to know.
I’m waiting for you…

With love,
Ange Gardien xx

Moments you’ll never forget

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Have you ever felt a moment when the world moves so slowly, that you can feel your heartbeats and your mind tumbling? No matter what happens to you for the rest of your life, you will remember every last detail of that one minute forever? Life has many special moments that we enjoy, but also moments that we regret. Yet, we never can just stop time, or take moments back. Life doesn’t work that way, does it?

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I still remember the tender and the warmth of your hands while holding mine for the very first time. I was an innocent girl who knew nothing about love. I thought as long as I hold your hands tight, you will bring me wherever you go and never let go. When we were together, we created moments. Now I guess they’re called moments because they don’t last very long, right?

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Remember the first day when you took me out? We both had butterflies although we tried to hide. You reached out and took my hand, and this simply began our journey. At that moment, I realized nothing in this world compares to the comfort and security of having you to hold my hand. Every time when we’re together, I start to feel like butterflies flutter around inside. I see how you care for me from the way you stared at me.

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Until the first day we had an argument, I survived through those days of cold war. We apologized and then we compromised. Yet it kept happening from time to time for no reason about minor things. I started to fear because you seem going far away from my heart. I wonder if you still remember the first day you fell in love with me, saying that “Once I had her hand, I never wanted to let go of her”. I just felt… insecure.

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At last, he was gone. I have never seen you again. And sometimes, I do miss you. Maybe I’m just trying to reminisce the moments that I never wanted to let go. I am afraid one day, if I stop looking back, they will be vanished. Yet, I can never go back… I have accepted the fact that certain things will never ever go back to how they used to be. I just wish sometimes, when you think of me like I do, you will think of those moments that we’ve been through, and smile.

Much love,
Ange Gardien xx

2014 Please be good

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Meeting new friends, and realized friendship doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other, or how many fights you got into. What matters is who said “i’ll be there for you” and who proved it.
Knowing a lot of people, and realized who’s fake and who’s real.
Working hard, and realized hard work doesn’t always pay off.
Crying inside, and realized laughing outside is part of grown up.
Falling in love, and realized love needs the right person in the right place at the right time.

2013 was such a memorable year. I officially became an adult and did many things for my very first time, such as… alcohol maybe? lol. It was full of ups and downs. Yet I learnt a lot and grew up a lot.

2014

Keep the smile, Leave the tear, Hold the laugh, Leave the pain, Think of joy, Forget the fear, Be joyous.
2014, please be good, be awesome.

With love,
Ange Gardien xx